I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
