yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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