I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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