If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize