So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
