Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
