I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
worst night to have a conscience
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
