Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
