Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
