ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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