just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
