I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
