can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
