i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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