I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
