Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
