I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
