omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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