butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize