my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You can't special order awesome
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
