My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
