just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize