is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
