the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
