I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
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Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
where are my eyebrows?
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