mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Buhtt sex?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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