I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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