I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
