We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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