omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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