No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
