dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
