The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
