Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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