i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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