That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
