i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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