I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
