i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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