why didn't you poke me back
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
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At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
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Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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