If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
