It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
