And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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