i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
