Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
