So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
