weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
