I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Randomize
