we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
