Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
