Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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