Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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