Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
