His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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