Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
