After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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