Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
