Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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