Don't make out with my wife yet
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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