his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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